May 18, 2003- I just get back from Chicago on a world wind tour with my father and brother and all the pieces of the puzzle have fallen in place. At this point in my life I've been married 5 years and have been feeling the my life slip away every moment. What do you do when you realize that you have married the wrong person? It has taken me 3 years to get to this point and finally realize that it not good for my daugther or myself to live like this. So the planning begins and I now I have to figure out how to leave a marriage with mentally ill wife and a wonderful daughter.
July 16, 2003- The bomb goes off and I begin my new life. I have my daughter and I have my full support of my family. At this point in time as most of you know, you tend to find who your true friends are. I new this divorce would be ugly and that things what happen. I called all the friends I could to warn them and let them know what was about to happen. This was a life altering experience and one that didn't not come to in a blink of eye, but one of long internal struggle to try to balance the good my child vs my feelings. In the end I decided that although the process may be difficult my child would be better along and maybe somehow I can be than man I have to be.
With lots of support and lots of time I 've made it through...In my new chapter in life, I self titled it B2B or Back to Basics....All of my life I have always worked hard, but always wanted the best and didn't want to settle for less. I was extravegant, I was arragant at times, and above all else I cared more for personal belongings and having possesions than what my financial health looked liked.
I had started a new life, left with just my daugther and the clothes on my back. I was convince that this time around, this second chance to do things right that I would try my best to always make the best decision for my daughters health and my fincial stability.
August 2003-
I've started dating this wonderful woman who is simply amazing, she's successful and has 4 kids...I know what you mean 4 kids!!!! But she trully is a amazing person. Over the past 20 months we've grown together. She's helped through some tough times and we've had amazing times. I had fallen in love. She asked about marriage and I said I needed some time to work through some hurdles. I've never told her no, but said give me some time to work on my past issues. I told her I love more than any woman I have ever loved and I can see spending the rest of my life with you. We had common goals, we had the same retirement plans. It was like a match made in heaven. I can't believe how lucky I was to find such an amazing woman. Of course with any relationship we hit some speed bumps.
April 2005-
To this point everything is going great, we are making plans for the future, we are buying a huge house to live in. I was finally comfortable and feeling completly safe. I say that now, but that typically when dramatic changes happen and your right they did. My girlfriend says hey Ive got to go to this wedding out of town for wanna of my old friends, do you mind if I go. I said sure I don't mind. We book at ticket for her and then I get some wierd bells and whistles going off in my head over the next couple of days. I asked her to send the flight itenery so say okay, but it never comes. She unusually grochy and iritable. I know she's under a lot stress, because we had some major issues come up with her 18 year old son. So Friday morning comes and she's getting ready to leave for the flight she tells me when to pick her up at the airport on Sunday at such and such a time and her's her flight number. I ask her to call me when she gets there to make sure she's safe and she throws a big fit and in the end she says ok. ( Yes the bells were going off, but under the curent stress load she said she need a couple of days to relax and get away. ) Perfectly understandable right? So Sunday I get to airport and wait and wait and wait. About 15 minutes after the plane lands I get a text message that simply says, I don't know when I'm coming back, I'll make arrangements for the kids.
And boom! Just like that a A-bomb has just been let off in the middle of the family. Now the last few days have been a blur and been difficult to understand...No one knows where she is and she's not contacting anyone, Is this by choice, Is she being forced, is she safe? I start to look for answers and I find plenty, bits and pieces of information...till it all adds up to this...
This came to me 20 hours ago and yet another roller coaster for life begins...
From:Akasha G
To: vincentzoo
Apr 19 (20 hours ago)
I'm not coming back. You need to leave me alone and take a minute to figureout that obviously I was extremely unhappy and mentally a wreck! I did notabandon anyone. The dad can do THE JOB for once in my life. Welcome to myworld, now maybe someone will appreciate what I really did. I did try tomake arrangements for Jenna, I'm sorry if no one got my text messages. Youcan think whatever you want, it's time for me to freakin do what is best forme for once in my entire life. Clever one you are to log me.....I had thathappen to me once before, funny how people repeat patterns of picking thesame type of person they were with before. Everyone will adjust in thehousehold. You don't have to worry about anyone ever again but Parker andAudrey. I don't have to be anyone's babysitter. I am so sick and tired ofdoing and doing and doing. Just take my shit and throw it away, let theother dad handle everything else. I'm not going to contact you again,changing phone number, moving from where I am now. I will contact Greg next. I can not be everything to everyone anymore. All I want is to be leftthe fuck alone. This is not abandonment, it's finding me.
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