And they think I'm crazy...
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
The Memories...
So I spent the night at the soccer fields with kids in practice...
As I look around its just so familiar...
The sights, the smells, the sounds... Just so familiar...
I guess when you spend more than 20 years on soccer fields they seem to work their way into your blood...
It was just so enjoyable...but this time it wasn't just my joy of playing...
The joy of watching the kids play and having fun was the best part...Kicking the ball around...running up and down the field...rolling in the grass...diving for a soccer ball here and there...
I can remember spending hours playing and practicing on the fields at night...
Sometimes I think it must have drove my parents nuts and then there are times like tonight...
I just sit back and smile...
As I look around its just so familiar...
The sights, the smells, the sounds... Just so familiar...
I guess when you spend more than 20 years on soccer fields they seem to work their way into your blood...
It was just so enjoyable...but this time it wasn't just my joy of playing...
The joy of watching the kids play and having fun was the best part...Kicking the ball around...running up and down the field...rolling in the grass...diving for a soccer ball here and there...
I can remember spending hours playing and practicing on the fields at night...
Sometimes I think it must have drove my parents nuts and then there are times like tonight...
I just sit back and smile...
Monday, October 03, 2005
Baseball - Season's End (For Most of US, Anyways)
So the long season is over...
And lets see how we faired...
Diamondbacks - 77 Wins and 85 Loses
Not a great season, but a hell of a lot better than last year, and maybe with a few good moves we can take the West next year...
Indians - 93 Wins and 69 Loses
First off to all you stinkin Giants fans!! Pay up...your damn team finished a lousy 18 games behind my Indians! Secondly...To all those who didn't give us hope...We almost did it...It was a nice run and you definately gave us some added expectations this year...
Yankees - 95 Wins and 67 Loses
Damn Yankees! With a 200 million dollar payroll and they came within losing 3 games of not making the playoffs! I bet George was really sweating that one...It will be an interesting off season in New York specially if they don't win it all...George doesn't spend that much without expecting results...Will Torre be the coach next here? Can the Yankees beat the St Louis Cardinals? I'll tell you what...I don't think anyone can beat St Louis this year!
And with one final note...
Go Indians!
And lets see how we faired...
Diamondbacks - 77 Wins and 85 Loses
Not a great season, but a hell of a lot better than last year, and maybe with a few good moves we can take the West next year...
Indians - 93 Wins and 69 Loses
First off to all you stinkin Giants fans!! Pay up...your damn team finished a lousy 18 games behind my Indians! Secondly...To all those who didn't give us hope...We almost did it...It was a nice run and you definately gave us some added expectations this year...
Yankees - 95 Wins and 67 Loses
Damn Yankees! With a 200 million dollar payroll and they came within losing 3 games of not making the playoffs! I bet George was really sweating that one...It will be an interesting off season in New York specially if they don't win it all...George doesn't spend that much without expecting results...Will Torre be the coach next here? Can the Yankees beat the St Louis Cardinals? I'll tell you what...I don't think anyone can beat St Louis this year!
And with one final note...
Go Indians!
Balance...
So I've found it...something that most of search for most of our lives...
A balance...
A balance between home and work...
I'm lucky enough to no longer live to work, but merely work to live...
From 100 hour work weeks to working 3 jobs at once...
I've somehow survived and found a balance...
And with the balance...
A new sense of issues...
So what do I really want to do?
Do I really want to keep working in my field?
All my life...my choices for work were motivated by one goal...
Money... Dinero...
I've always based my career goals based on money and now that's not the goal...That's not what I want....so what do I do?
Don't get me wrong...Money's important...Just not nearly as important as the rest of my life...
So here I go...Another search...
What do I want to do to make me happy!
I'm searching for a job that will allow me to keep my balance...
Because at the end of the day...
This journey we take isn't about how fast we get there or how much we acheived while we are here....but merely about the adventure between the points!
Yeah I know...Its funny... Who ever thought I would care more about the journey and less about how fast we get there...
Where do I go from here...What does my heart desire...What job do I want...
I'm not sure...
But I do know...I'm not willing to give up the balance I have to get there...
Something tells me I should just enjoy the journey and see what the road brings me...
A balance...
A balance between home and work...
I'm lucky enough to no longer live to work, but merely work to live...
From 100 hour work weeks to working 3 jobs at once...
I've somehow survived and found a balance...
And with the balance...
A new sense of issues...
So what do I really want to do?
Do I really want to keep working in my field?
All my life...my choices for work were motivated by one goal...
Money... Dinero...
I've always based my career goals based on money and now that's not the goal...That's not what I want....so what do I do?
Don't get me wrong...Money's important...Just not nearly as important as the rest of my life...
So here I go...Another search...
What do I want to do to make me happy!
I'm searching for a job that will allow me to keep my balance...
Because at the end of the day...
This journey we take isn't about how fast we get there or how much we acheived while we are here....but merely about the adventure between the points!
Yeah I know...Its funny... Who ever thought I would care more about the journey and less about how fast we get there...
Where do I go from here...What does my heart desire...What job do I want...
I'm not sure...
But I do know...I'm not willing to give up the balance I have to get there...
Something tells me I should just enjoy the journey and see what the road brings me...
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Its been a fun weekend!
So I started the weekend at the Tour de Fat. It s bicycle ride for local charities up in Flagstaff! Basically 300 people show up and ride around Flagstaff for an hour or so and then we come back and consume beer for the next 5 hours! Last year we went through 90 kegs of beer, so this year they brought 122 kegs, the said their not sure what to do next year if go through 122 kegs!
It was a beautiful ride...A lot calmer than last year's ride. No major crashes to report!
Then today I checked on the status of my house...unfortunately they've moved back the move in date at least 15 to 30 days... So if I'm lucky we'll be moved in before the end of the year!
Plus....
Its always fun having the kids back in the house...its always fun to watch them grow!
You can always see some of the pictures at http://vincentzoopictures.blogspot.com/
It was a beautiful ride...A lot calmer than last year's ride. No major crashes to report!
Then today I checked on the status of my house...unfortunately they've moved back the move in date at least 15 to 30 days... So if I'm lucky we'll be moved in before the end of the year!
Plus....
Its always fun having the kids back in the house...its always fun to watch them grow!
You can always see some of the pictures at http://vincentzoopictures.blogspot.com/
Monday, September 26, 2005
Practice...
They call it a Doctor's Practice for a reason...
Its seems so often any more that Doctor's are less likely to give you a definate answer on a fairly simple question...
Its seems everyone I know has a story or two maybe three about issues they've had with a Doctor and the treatment they received. Not to say that people don't have any good stories. Its just you don't hear about them nearly as much...
And from my recent experiences I'm left with more questions than answers...
So why is this my opinion?
Is this a result of school training or lack there of?
Is this a result of frivolous lawsuits?
Or simply the inability to walk the patient through the steps needed to get better?
Its seems so often any more that Doctor's are less likely to give you a definate answer on a fairly simple question...
Its seems everyone I know has a story or two maybe three about issues they've had with a Doctor and the treatment they received. Not to say that people don't have any good stories. Its just you don't hear about them nearly as much...
And from my recent experiences I'm left with more questions than answers...
So why is this my opinion?
Is this a result of school training or lack there of?
Is this a result of frivolous lawsuits?
Or simply the inability to walk the patient through the steps needed to get better?
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Its been a while...
I know...I know...
Its been a while since my last post...
Its not that I had forgotten or wasn't that I didn't have anything to say...
Its simply...I've been busy...Enjoying myself, my time, and the company I've been keeping!
So since I'm back...Take a minute and visit my new blog...
My life in pictures...
http://vincentzoopictures.blogspot.com/
Its been a while since my last post...
Its not that I had forgotten or wasn't that I didn't have anything to say...
Its simply...I've been busy...Enjoying myself, my time, and the company I've been keeping!
So since I'm back...Take a minute and visit my new blog...
My life in pictures...
http://vincentzoopictures.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Your friend might be a hacker if..........
-Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill.
-Has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.
-When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex.
-Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
-Somehow gets HBO on their PC at work.
-Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeeez!" 295 times during the movie "The Net."
-Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.
-Their video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons.
-Instead of the "Welcome" voice on AOL, you overhear, "Good Morning, Mr./Mrs. President."
-You hear them murmur, "Let's see you use that VISA card now, Professor "I-Don't-Give-A's-In-Computer-Science!"
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Quote of the Day
"Sometimes great achievements can come only as the result of a period of failure that helps you understand who you really are." Unknown
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Quote of the Day!
Tempt you....I raped, seduced, and took advantage of you, remember? Tempting is the easy part! :-)
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Baseball and the 2nd half begins...
AZ Diamondbacks W43 L47 PCT.478
Cleveland Indians W47 L41 PCT.534
NY Yankees W46 L40 PCT.535
SF Giants W37 L50 PCT.425
AZ Diamondbacks-
So it has been a great year so far. Our bullpen has looked shaky and we really haven't had any timely hitting. Hopefully with a midseason break everyone will comeback to form and things will start clicking and with a little luck we'll make it into the playoffs. But your not hearing any complaints here...This years team is definately a lot more competitive than last years.
Cleveland Indians-
There about where everyone expected and with a lot luck we might just be able to make the playoffs. As you look at the schedules for the end of the year, the Indians certainly have an advantage over a lot of teams. There's definately still a chance for the Indians to make it to the playoffs this year, for the first time in many years! ( Plus...The Damn Giants fan's might as well pay up on your bets right now...with a 9 game lead there's not much of chance of your Team is going to have a better record than the Indians!)
NY Yankees-
Well they are better than they were at the beginning of the season, however they haven't quite added up to being worth the 200 million dollar payroll. It will be interesting to see if they can even make the playoffs. There's around baseball that only one team will make it out of the AL East this year for the playoffs and right now it doesn't seem to be the Yankees. ( YEAH! - Was that out loud?) The schedule isn't really friendly for the Yankees in the 2nd half of the season. The last month of the season the Yankees play the Boston and Baltimore 14 times. So basically you have to figure the Yankees have to get really hot really fast and build a big lead between now and then and I just don't think they can do it. Even if I'm a Yankee hatter...I'm at least fair. So the questions is-
What will George do when the Yankees don't make the playoffs???
SF Giants-
Looking for the first 100 game losing season in franchise history!
Cleveland Indians W47 L41 PCT.534
NY Yankees W46 L40 PCT.535
SF Giants W37 L50 PCT.425
AZ Diamondbacks-
So it has been a great year so far. Our bullpen has looked shaky and we really haven't had any timely hitting. Hopefully with a midseason break everyone will comeback to form and things will start clicking and with a little luck we'll make it into the playoffs. But your not hearing any complaints here...This years team is definately a lot more competitive than last years.
Cleveland Indians-
There about where everyone expected and with a lot luck we might just be able to make the playoffs. As you look at the schedules for the end of the year, the Indians certainly have an advantage over a lot of teams. There's definately still a chance for the Indians to make it to the playoffs this year, for the first time in many years! ( Plus...The Damn Giants fan's might as well pay up on your bets right now...with a 9 game lead there's not much of chance of your Team is going to have a better record than the Indians!)
NY Yankees-
Well they are better than they were at the beginning of the season, however they haven't quite added up to being worth the 200 million dollar payroll. It will be interesting to see if they can even make the playoffs. There's around baseball that only one team will make it out of the AL East this year for the playoffs and right now it doesn't seem to be the Yankees. ( YEAH! - Was that out loud?) The schedule isn't really friendly for the Yankees in the 2nd half of the season. The last month of the season the Yankees play the Boston and Baltimore 14 times. So basically you have to figure the Yankees have to get really hot really fast and build a big lead between now and then and I just don't think they can do it. Even if I'm a Yankee hatter...I'm at least fair. So the questions is-
What will George do when the Yankees don't make the playoffs???
SF Giants-
Looking for the first 100 game losing season in franchise history!
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Misc...
Ok...
I've been told I have to update my calendar...
So within the next week you'll be regularly about to check out my calendar and I'll have it updated.
Cheers!
Here's to the night in Flagstaff and a night I mostly don't remember...especially an 1 hour long conversation I had...( or was that just the whole night)
So does anyone know if we are allowed back into Uptown Billards yet?
I've been told I have to update my calendar...
So within the next week you'll be regularly about to check out my calendar and I'll have it updated.
Cheers!
Here's to the night in Flagstaff and a night I mostly don't remember...especially an 1 hour long conversation I had...( or was that just the whole night)
So does anyone know if we are allowed back into Uptown Billards yet?
Questions...
Who- My name is Sean Vincent and I'm a raving lunatic...
What- I am a father, friend, and brother. But most importantly I am me!
When- Right here, Right now!
Where- Any place any time...I might just show up in a town near you!
Why- Because a little insanity doesn't hurt anybody!
How- Again, see the above answer..
What- I am a father, friend, and brother. But most importantly I am me!
When- Right here, Right now!
Where- Any place any time...I might just show up in a town near you!
Why- Because a little insanity doesn't hurt anybody!
How- Again, see the above answer..
I know...I know...
Its been week since I've posted but I've been busy...I have a wonderful woman in my life and I'm just having way to much fun...
I know to much fun to post...
But its true....
I know to much fun to post...
But its true....
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Relationships...
Ok...so I've been in a few relationships...
But I have to tell you that I'm thankful for each one that I have had...
Each one has taught me something and made me who I am today...
I'm a better person for the things that have happened to me and the experiences that I have...
I know it has not been easy or simple and things have never been black or white...
They have always been shades of grey...
I thankful for where I am today...
You know...I just might get it right this time...
But I have to tell you that I'm thankful for each one that I have had...
Each one has taught me something and made me who I am today...
I'm a better person for the things that have happened to me and the experiences that I have...
I know it has not been easy or simple and things have never been black or white...
They have always been shades of grey...
I thankful for where I am today...
You know...I just might get it right this time...
Old Friends...
Friends are a great thing...
I've lost touch with a few since the divorce and have tried to reconnect with no luck...
Then I get a call at 7:40am...
Not a bad way to start the day...
Here's a toast to good friends!
I've lost touch with a few since the divorce and have tried to reconnect with no luck...
Then I get a call at 7:40am...
Not a bad way to start the day...
Here's a toast to good friends!
Monday, June 27, 2005
Quote of the Day...
We all need something worthwhile to aim for. A dream provides us with that. It acts as a compass, telling us the direction we should travel.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Baseball...
So its been a while since I've updated anyone on baseball...
(Not that you really need my help...)
Arizona has manage to stay above 500 and are only 3.5 games in back of the Padres...
San Francisco has manage to lose 3 in a row and are currently 11 games back of the Padres...
Indians quietley have a very good season, at this rate I could win my $100 by August...
Not that I really expect to see my $100, but hey a bets a bet.
( I bet that the Indians would have a better record than the Giants by the end of the year, this bet was placed before Barry Bonds was injured list for life....)
(Not that you really need my help...)
Arizona has manage to stay above 500 and are only 3.5 games in back of the Padres...
San Francisco has manage to lose 3 in a row and are currently 11 games back of the Padres...
Indians quietley have a very good season, at this rate I could win my $100 by August...
Not that I really expect to see my $100, but hey a bets a bet.
( I bet that the Indians would have a better record than the Giants by the end of the year, this bet was placed before Barry Bonds was injured list for life....)
Thank You..
So there's been a debate...
Whether or not I should send a Thank You note...
and I know what your thinking....A thank you note for what?
Its simple...
A thank you note for leaving my life...
So what do you think? I look forward to your comments!
Whether or not I should send a Thank You note...
and I know what your thinking....A thank you note for what?
Its simple...
A thank you note for leaving my life...
So what do you think? I look forward to your comments!
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Quote of the Day!
Do not wait for ideal circumstances, nor the best opportunities; they will never come...
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
So the Cats out of the bag!
Some know, some don't...
It started about 3 weeks ago and is simply amazing...
For all my intentions I was sure I wasn't going to be in a new relationship for awhile...
What did I mean by awhile I don't know...but I certainly didn't mean for it to happen this quick...
Its been a long hard road over the last couple of years filled with a lot of ups and downs...
So by qualifications I had set the bar high for anyone I was going to date...
They had to be honest...and I just don't mean honest on the surface...I mean honest about everything in their life... (From doing self analysis, best I can tell you, is I made the biggest mistake in my past relationships by settling and not demanding that the people in my past relationships be 100% honest with me. It starts with little things and just kind of continues from there into a negative environment.) So this time I made sure that I laid down the ground rules...No matter how hard it is. I am an adult. I can handle the truth. No matter how hard it is I can deal with the truth as long as your honest.
So with that being said...
This just hit me and her from out of the blue...Wasn't expected...Wasn't planned...
Somewhere down that road it just hits us and it happened...
So what can I say...I've know here for more than 3 years and we've had a good friendship that has developed into something more...Maybe that's why this time its been so easy, so simple, and so honest....(It doesn't hurt that she's a New Yorker and doesn't pull punches...)
Its funny, we both have been looking for red flags and can't find any!!! Its really scary, we just seem to click. What's even better is that all the kids get along and we have no kids issues...I can remember in my last relationship the kid issues where the hardest. I had one simple rule...The rules are applied evenly across the board, but with my ex every kid had rules applied differently...Talk about not knowing if I was coming or going....Its nice to find someone that has the same philosophies and the same goals in mind when it comes to the kids...
So here I am traveling down the road of life again with someone other than myself...
And its amazing...no stress and we're just out to have a good time!
It started about 3 weeks ago and is simply amazing...
For all my intentions I was sure I wasn't going to be in a new relationship for awhile...
What did I mean by awhile I don't know...but I certainly didn't mean for it to happen this quick...
Its been a long hard road over the last couple of years filled with a lot of ups and downs...
So by qualifications I had set the bar high for anyone I was going to date...
They had to be honest...and I just don't mean honest on the surface...I mean honest about everything in their life... (From doing self analysis, best I can tell you, is I made the biggest mistake in my past relationships by settling and not demanding that the people in my past relationships be 100% honest with me. It starts with little things and just kind of continues from there into a negative environment.) So this time I made sure that I laid down the ground rules...No matter how hard it is. I am an adult. I can handle the truth. No matter how hard it is I can deal with the truth as long as your honest.
So with that being said...
This just hit me and her from out of the blue...Wasn't expected...Wasn't planned...
Somewhere down that road it just hits us and it happened...
So what can I say...I've know here for more than 3 years and we've had a good friendship that has developed into something more...Maybe that's why this time its been so easy, so simple, and so honest....(It doesn't hurt that she's a New Yorker and doesn't pull punches...)
Its funny, we both have been looking for red flags and can't find any!!! Its really scary, we just seem to click. What's even better is that all the kids get along and we have no kids issues...I can remember in my last relationship the kid issues where the hardest. I had one simple rule...The rules are applied evenly across the board, but with my ex every kid had rules applied differently...Talk about not knowing if I was coming or going....Its nice to find someone that has the same philosophies and the same goals in mind when it comes to the kids...
So here I am traveling down the road of life again with someone other than myself...
And its amazing...no stress and we're just out to have a good time!
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Supersize Me!
Has anyone seen Supersize Me?
http://www.supersizeme.com/
If not you really should...its pretty shocking and real...
So reflecting on all the changes in my life that have recently gone through I asked a question..
Why not two more!
So about 45 days ago I stopped cold turkey...
I stopped drinking all soda - I was probably drinking at least a 12 pack of soda daily...
&
I stopped eating all fast food - Not that I have been eating a ton of it, but every little bit helps...
So the results...
In 45 days I have lost roughly 25-30 pounds...
I really hadn't done anything lately to see a benefit from all this weight loss, except I look healthier and I've had to go buy some new clothes...
But today I noticed the change...I was out riding my mountain bike at South Moutain and made every single hill climb with out stopping! It was incredible... I haven't been able to do that for 2 years maybe even 3 years...Usually I'm able to make most of the hills then walk the last part of the distance, but not today...I rode every inch of every hill on the bike. It was amazing...simply amazing...
http://www.supersizeme.com/
If not you really should...its pretty shocking and real...
So reflecting on all the changes in my life that have recently gone through I asked a question..
Why not two more!
So about 45 days ago I stopped cold turkey...
I stopped drinking all soda - I was probably drinking at least a 12 pack of soda daily...
&
I stopped eating all fast food - Not that I have been eating a ton of it, but every little bit helps...
So the results...
In 45 days I have lost roughly 25-30 pounds...
I really hadn't done anything lately to see a benefit from all this weight loss, except I look healthier and I've had to go buy some new clothes...
But today I noticed the change...I was out riding my mountain bike at South Moutain and made every single hill climb with out stopping! It was incredible... I haven't been able to do that for 2 years maybe even 3 years...Usually I'm able to make most of the hills then walk the last part of the distance, but not today...I rode every inch of every hill on the bike. It was amazing...simply amazing...
Text Messaging at 2am...
I have this friend who met someone 6 months ago...The only time every hear from them is at 2am every weekend through text messaging...Its pretty funny! More so its sad, but its funny to us...They never return text message back... yet this person still continues to text message my friend...
So lets say we had some fun at 3am this weekend!
So lets say we had some fun at 3am this weekend!
What a wonderful life...
Ok...so you've seen some post of pictures...I recently figured out how to post to my blog through my cell phone. I can't tell you how much fun I've been having with this feature but moving on...
Its been a busy few weeks for me...
I spent the weekend cruising the Southern California coast line and spent a majority of the time with one goal in mind...to relax and have fun...
I can tell you that I have acomplished both and a few more things along the way...
From hanging out in Universal City, to lying around the beach, to driving Pacific Coast Highway, and last but not least jetting across the Pacific Ocean at 55 knots at sunset...
It was truly a great weekend, but not just because of the things I've done...
I made a connection this weekend...
A connection that could better my future and finally be that missing link...
What a great weekend!
Its been a busy few weeks for me...
I spent the weekend cruising the Southern California coast line and spent a majority of the time with one goal in mind...to relax and have fun...
I can tell you that I have acomplished both and a few more things along the way...
From hanging out in Universal City, to lying around the beach, to driving Pacific Coast Highway, and last but not least jetting across the Pacific Ocean at 55 knots at sunset...
It was truly a great weekend, but not just because of the things I've done...
I made a connection this weekend...
A connection that could better my future and finally be that missing link...
What a great weekend!
Monday, June 13, 2005
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Vacation discussion Topics...
While on vacation we where talking about great pool halls...
The best one I think I've ever been in is Buffalo Billards in Washington, DC...
Just a great environment!
Check it out...
http://www.google.com/local?q=buffalo+billards&hl=en&lr=&sa=G&near=washington,+dc&rl=1&sc=1&radius=0&latlng=38895000,-77036667,1682935982949420795
The best one I think I've ever been in is Buffalo Billards in Washington, DC...
Just a great environment!
Check it out...
http://www.google.com/local?q=buffalo+billards&hl=en&lr=&sa=G&near=washington,+dc&rl=1&sc=1&radius=0&latlng=38895000,-77036667,1682935982949420795
Friday, June 10, 2005
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Cellphone Posting...
So I've been playing with posting to the blog with my cell phone...so far I love it...
Yeah I know the keyboard sucks on the cell phone, but I like the feeling up just stopping and sending a quick thought or two...
And better yet...I can do it pictures too!
Yeah I know the keyboard sucks on the cell phone, but I like the feeling up just stopping and sending a quick thought or two...
And better yet...I can do it pictures too!
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
60 Days Out
So its not quite 60 days out...
For those of you who haven't been here since the begining...
This is Take Three of my adult life...
Through divorce and now my first major relationship after the divorce and break up things have always been interesting....
So the more time and distance I gain from the these events the more I realize the although I didn't always see the signs and lots of times I did... This is the best thing to happen to me...
As some say I guess it was the rebound relationship...
So I've righted the ship and headed out into the ocean...I know what I'm looking for and what I'm not looking for...
As my friends say lets setup you up on match.com profile... That is definately what I don't want...
What I do want is someone who has a child or children and looking to be honest and open in all aspects of their life...
Is this a lot to ask? Is this a high mark to set...
You better believe it and I think I'm worth it...
So I've started a voyage and I've set sail...and maybe just maybe I can do it right this time...
For those of you who haven't been here since the begining...
This is Take Three of my adult life...
Through divorce and now my first major relationship after the divorce and break up things have always been interesting....
So the more time and distance I gain from the these events the more I realize the although I didn't always see the signs and lots of times I did... This is the best thing to happen to me...
As some say I guess it was the rebound relationship...
So I've righted the ship and headed out into the ocean...I know what I'm looking for and what I'm not looking for...
As my friends say lets setup you up on match.com profile... That is definately what I don't want...
What I do want is someone who has a child or children and looking to be honest and open in all aspects of their life...
Is this a lot to ask? Is this a high mark to set...
You better believe it and I think I'm worth it...
So I've started a voyage and I've set sail...and maybe just maybe I can do it right this time...
Answers to the Dilemmas...
Ok...
So I've had some dilemmas...
Unfortunately the 18 year old has proved me right yet again...
So now on his own and thinking he's in the free and clear...
But what he doesn't realize is that he's on borrowed time...
For the path he walks has consequences...
Consequences that he's not ready to face...
Its only a matter of time...
So I've had some dilemmas...
Unfortunately the 18 year old has proved me right yet again...
So now on his own and thinking he's in the free and clear...
But what he doesn't realize is that he's on borrowed time...
For the path he walks has consequences...
Consequences that he's not ready to face...
Its only a matter of time...
Cell Phone Taxes
You just have to love how the tax rates are almost 20% of the bill...
This article has some great information on the taxes...
This article has some great information on the taxes...
Its was a great day in baseball...
Diamondbacks unfortunately lost the game in the top of the 9th...
Indians won in 11...
Dodgers lost...
Giants lost...
And I won't talk about the Evil Empire...(Lost 9 of 10)
:-)
Saturday, June 04, 2005
This can't be good news for Yankees Fans...
Torre is truely the best coach to be running the New York Yankees, but it seems he may lose his job before the end of the season...
Its a shame...I don't know of any other coach out there that has done a better job over the last couple of years...
Its not Torre's fault that the Yankees keep buying players that are past their prime and can't get the job done....
Its a shame...I don't know of any other coach out there that has done a better job over the last couple of years...
Its not Torre's fault that the Yankees keep buying players that are past their prime and can't get the job done....
A Good Saturday Morning...
So its almost 8am and its a Good Saturday Morning...
Why is good when I should be in bed sleeping...Well its been a great couple of days...
I've been enjoying myself on the last day and half while I was off work and just had a great time...
And really...I didn't do much but hang around the house and do things so some things I haven't done since I was in college...
I hung out and watched the stars for hours...not that you can see nearly as many stars as used to be able to...They continue to build out in my area like there's no tomorrow...
I took a nap in the middle of the afternoon...
And then there was that one other thing...
Why is good when I should be in bed sleeping...Well its been a great couple of days...
I've been enjoying myself on the last day and half while I was off work and just had a great time...
And really...I didn't do much but hang around the house and do things so some things I haven't done since I was in college...
I hung out and watched the stars for hours...not that you can see nearly as many stars as used to be able to...They continue to build out in my area like there's no tomorrow...
I took a nap in the middle of the afternoon...
And then there was that one other thing...
Thursday, June 02, 2005
This was past onto me by email today...Thought it was worth a good read...
Mon, 26 Jan 2004 11:13AM - SENATOR JOHN GLENN ON THE SENATE FLOOR
Some people still don't understand why military personnel do what they do for a living. This exchange between Senators John Glenn and Senator Howard Metzenbaum is worth reading. Not only is it a pretty impressive impromptu speech, but it's also a good example of one man's explanation of why men and women in the armed services do what they do for a living. This IS a typical, though sad, example of what some who have never served think of the military.
Senator Metzenbaum (speaking to Senator Glenn): "How can you run for Senate when you've never held a real job?"
Senator Glenn (D-Ohio): "I served 23 years in the United States Marine Corps. I served through two wars. I flew 149 missions. My plane was hit by anti-aircraft fire on 12 different occasions. I was in the space program. It wasn't my checkbook, Howard; it was my life on the line. It was not a nine-to-five job, where I took time off to take the daily cash receipts to the bank." "I ask you to go with me ... as I went the other day...to a veteran's hospital and look those men ...with their mangled bodies... in the eye, and tell THEM they didn't hold a job!
You go with me to the Space Program at NASA and go, as I have gone, to the widows and Orphans of Ed White, Gus Grissom and Roger Chaffee...and you look those kids in the eye and tell them that their DADS didn't hold a job.
You go with me on Memorial Day and you stand in Arlington National Cemetery, where I have more friends buried than I'd like to remember, and you watch
those waving flags.
You stand there and you think about this nation and you tell ME that those people didn't have a job?
What about you?"
( For those who don't know...During W.W.II, Howard Metzenbaum was an attorney representing the Communist Party in the USA. Now he's a Senator! )
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Baseball...
Its a beautiful game...
Just some current Stats...
The Diamondbacks are having a great season to date- 30 Wins 22 Loses
The Indians are about where everyone expected at 25 Wins 25 Loses
The Giants are currently trying to find themselves without Barry at 23 Wins 27 Loses
and the kicker of it all...
With a Payroll of 200 Million...
The Yankees are 4 games back and 4th place in the division at 27 Wins 24 Loses
You know George has to be real happy right about now...
Just some current Stats...
The Diamondbacks are having a great season to date- 30 Wins 22 Loses
The Indians are about where everyone expected at 25 Wins 25 Loses
The Giants are currently trying to find themselves without Barry at 23 Wins 27 Loses
and the kicker of it all...
With a Payroll of 200 Million...
The Yankees are 4 games back and 4th place in the division at 27 Wins 24 Loses
You know George has to be real happy right about now...
Speaking of Theater Experiences...
I finished up my home stereo system this weekend and let me tell you I absolutely love it...
7.1 Dobly Digital....
I can finally say there's really not a reason to go to the movie theater anymore...
There is one exception...If I'm going to see something in the DLP theater then I should be guarenteed a good experience...but there's always that people issue....
It funny Thomas is speaking about the poor experience he had in relatively new theater and during my shopping experience I ran into several other store reps that had similar views...
While I consider myself a movie lover...I now get to have the whole experience minus the annoying people...
7.1 Dobly Digital....
I can finally say there's really not a reason to go to the movie theater anymore...
There is one exception...If I'm going to see something in the DLP theater then I should be guarenteed a good experience...but there's always that people issue....
It funny Thomas is speaking about the poor experience he had in relatively new theater and during my shopping experience I ran into several other store reps that had similar views...
While I consider myself a movie lover...I now get to have the whole experience minus the annoying people...
Disappearing into thin air....Maybe not
I always find it interesting...
People who say the just want to disappear, always leave traces to where to find them...
Its like they want to be found...but then they get so upset when you find them...
People who say the just want to disappear, always leave traces to where to find them...
Its like they want to be found...but then they get so upset when you find them...
More Dilemmas...
So my daughter has drawn a card to D....
She made me promise I would send it too her....So the dilemma if I do send the card, it leaves a door open...
I've spent the last two months trying to close the doors to my past and move forward...It seems like an easy decision....Tell my daughter I sent the card and just move foward...
But some where in me I just don't know what to do...
Maybe its human nature...maybe its stupidity...maybe I'm just asking to be handed a whole lot of heart ache...
I want to send the card...but I don't want to leave that door open. Moreover I don't think I can survive the results if someone comes walking in that open door...
She made me promise I would send it too her....So the dilemma if I do send the card, it leaves a door open...
I've spent the last two months trying to close the doors to my past and move forward...It seems like an easy decision....Tell my daughter I sent the card and just move foward...
But some where in me I just don't know what to do...
Maybe its human nature...maybe its stupidity...maybe I'm just asking to be handed a whole lot of heart ache...
I want to send the card...but I don't want to leave that door open. Moreover I don't think I can survive the results if someone comes walking in that open door...
Dilemmas...
So I've been supporting an eighteen year old the last couple months and trying to help someone who for all accounts have had a rough life...
A father who never took responsibility...
A mother who was never tough enough...
A someone who abondon him at his greatest time of need...
So here I was left with a fragile life in my hands and I stood at a crossroads....
Go left and turn my back and we have another member of the I-going-to-do-whatever-the-fuck-I-want-club-no-matter-who-or-how-it-hurts club...
or
Go right and wrap my arms around the situation and stand up and teach someone wants it means to be an adult or better yet a man...
So here is my dilemma....
I've done everything I can to do the right thing and try to set the right example...
To teach the lessons that should have been taught when he was age 6, 8, 10....
So now he's eighteen....He thinks he's a man...
He knows the difference between right and wrong, but consistently chooses wrong...
So I've done one of the tougher things I've ever done....
I had to sit down and have an intervention...
And give him a choice...
Go into the military and hope they can put him on the right path...
or
Send him into the world and let fate take it course...
So yet another crossroad....Do I hope he takes the right path...
I honestly do...but I know this child...I know him to well....
I just hope for the first time in my life he proves me wrong...
A father who never took responsibility...
A mother who was never tough enough...
A someone who abondon him at his greatest time of need...
So here I was left with a fragile life in my hands and I stood at a crossroads....
Go left and turn my back and we have another member of the I-going-to-do-whatever-the-fuck-I-want-club-no-matter-who-or-how-it-hurts club...
or
Go right and wrap my arms around the situation and stand up and teach someone wants it means to be an adult or better yet a man...
So here is my dilemma....
I've done everything I can to do the right thing and try to set the right example...
To teach the lessons that should have been taught when he was age 6, 8, 10....
So now he's eighteen....He thinks he's a man...
He knows the difference between right and wrong, but consistently chooses wrong...
So I've done one of the tougher things I've ever done....
I had to sit down and have an intervention...
And give him a choice...
Go into the military and hope they can put him on the right path...
or
Send him into the world and let fate take it course...
So yet another crossroad....Do I hope he takes the right path...
I honestly do...but I know this child...I know him to well....
I just hope for the first time in my life he proves me wrong...
Long Weekend...
So it was a long weekend...
I haven't drank like this since I was last in Chicago...
Every night I was drinking 1,2,3,10....It was ridiculous and completely controlled....
And every night I drank to limit and stopped...
It was a great weekend...
I was rather productive in getting lots of stuff done around the house and with a little help I almost got the garage cleaned out....
I haven't drank like this since I was last in Chicago...
Every night I was drinking 1,2,3,10....It was ridiculous and completely controlled....
And every night I drank to limit and stopped...
It was a great weekend...
I was rather productive in getting lots of stuff done around the house and with a little help I almost got the garage cleaned out....
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Baseball Comebacks...
Even if you're not a baseball fan, you will still get a kick out it...
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=neel/050526
The moral of the story...besides humor
Just do what makes you a happy!
Summer is here...
For those of you that don't realize it....I do live in Arizona...
I love it...
But its official...Summer is here...
It never seems to fail...We will sit with the high in the 80's for a week maybe two....then we jump straight through the 90's to 100's...
I love it...
I love it...
But its official...Summer is here...
It never seems to fail...We will sit with the high in the 80's for a week maybe two....then we jump straight through the 90's to 100's...
I love it...
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Just passing through...
You really have to make an effort to stop and smell the roses. We get so busy in this life....
Its been a busy weekend....
New roommates move in (Thank God...they are helping nicely in offsetting the expenses of the house)...
Busy weekend with the kids...Work is always a joy....
And last but not least the Suns' Game....Granite they lost but it was still a great game...
So now its Tuesday night and I finally I have a chance to stop and smell the roses...
My friends are trying to have me setup a profile on match.com
They thinks its time I get back into the game...I just laughed at them...
I really don't need a match.com profile just find someone....plus as much as I'm ready to move on...I'm not...
I'm enjoying where I'm at....yes I miss her, but I can't live in the past, I must keep going forward...
So where am I at...
I'm working on getting healthy and enjoying my time...
Whether it be time with the kids or just time alone....I'm enjoying the time...
I tend to reflect on the past and dream about the future...
So here I am...
Feet firmly planted on the ground and head stuck in the clouds...
Its been a busy weekend....
New roommates move in (Thank God...they are helping nicely in offsetting the expenses of the house)...
Busy weekend with the kids...Work is always a joy....
And last but not least the Suns' Game....Granite they lost but it was still a great game...
So now its Tuesday night and I finally I have a chance to stop and smell the roses...
My friends are trying to have me setup a profile on match.com
They thinks its time I get back into the game...I just laughed at them...
I really don't need a match.com profile just find someone....plus as much as I'm ready to move on...I'm not...
I'm enjoying where I'm at....yes I miss her, but I can't live in the past, I must keep going forward...
So where am I at...
I'm working on getting healthy and enjoying my time...
Whether it be time with the kids or just time alone....I'm enjoying the time...
I tend to reflect on the past and dream about the future...
So here I am...
Feet firmly planted on the ground and head stuck in the clouds...
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Weekend..
Its been a fun weekend...Few days since the last post...
I've been busy with kids and work and haven't had much of chance to post...I'll be posting a rant and maybe a rave later today...
Till then...
I hope you all are doing well and find you path down that road of life...
I've been busy with kids and work and haven't had much of chance to post...I'll be posting a rant and maybe a rave later today...
Till then...
I hope you all are doing well and find you path down that road of life...
Thursday, May 19, 2005
TGIF...
I know its only Thursday...but its my Friday...
Its been a fun day...from Star Wars at 12:01am to 8 hours of work on less than 3 hours sleep...
To a great dinner with a family friend...
Its been a really fun day and the best part of the hole thing...
I haven't looked forward to falling a sleep in a very long time and I actually get to sleep in tomorrow....
Its been a fun day...from Star Wars at 12:01am to 8 hours of work on less than 3 hours sleep...
To a great dinner with a family friend...
Its been a really fun day and the best part of the hole thing...
I haven't looked forward to falling a sleep in a very long time and I actually get to sleep in tomorrow....
Forgiveness...
Its sometimes the hardest thing to give...
D...I don't know why you did what you did at this point it doesn't really matter...
I just wanted to let you know...
I forgive you.
D...I don't know why you did what you did at this point it doesn't really matter...
I just wanted to let you know...
I forgive you.
Star Wars...Episode III
Its the end of a saga....The end of a tradition...
For the last 11 years every single time Star Wars was shown in the theater we would go see the midnight show...At first the Cine Capri...Then the Harkins Theater that had the best sound system...
Its been a great tradition....
Now back to the movie...
It was great...It had great fight seens and plenty of action....it felt a little choppy at times...but over all I would rate it the best of the new films, without any doubt....
It was great to see the internal struggle of the fight we all have between the good and evil in all of us...It seems that internal struggles we all go through and that made the orginals such a big hit seem to get lost with all the special effects in Episode 1 &2.
Now time for bed....I have to be up in 3 hours...
For the last 11 years every single time Star Wars was shown in the theater we would go see the midnight show...At first the Cine Capri...Then the Harkins Theater that had the best sound system...
Its been a great tradition....
Now back to the movie...
It was great...It had great fight seens and plenty of action....it felt a little choppy at times...but over all I would rate it the best of the new films, without any doubt....
It was great to see the internal struggle of the fight we all have between the good and evil in all of us...It seems that internal struggles we all go through and that made the orginals such a big hit seem to get lost with all the special effects in Episode 1 &2.
Now time for bed....I have to be up in 3 hours...
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Best Friends...
Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be & to quit whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath. I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask? Because you are my "friend".
Send this to ten of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of nine.
Remember: A good friend will help you move - - a really good friend will help you move a body.
Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
30 Days Later...
So the bomb dropped 30 days ago today...
So how am I doing? I would say for the most part good, but there is always those times....A song on the radio...The pictures in the house...
It definately hasn't been easy...
My trust with woman has been shattered...
My morals have been tested...
And what propably hurt the most is the fact that I saw myself growing old with this person...Not just in the normal ways, but even in my dreams...I had a comfort that I have never had before...That this person would be there with me through thick and thin...
And in the end...
I have learned more about myself and am a better person, because this happened to me...
So how am I doing? I would say for the most part good, but there is always those times....A song on the radio...The pictures in the house...
It definately hasn't been easy...
My trust with woman has been shattered...
My morals have been tested...
And what propably hurt the most is the fact that I saw myself growing old with this person...Not just in the normal ways, but even in my dreams...I had a comfort that I have never had before...That this person would be there with me through thick and thin...
And in the end...
I have learned more about myself and am a better person, because this happened to me...
I am truly lucky...
I try to walk through life with a smile on my face and try to remember to enjoy my time...
When I'm older I hope that I will have ability to look a back and think about the adventures that I have had...whether they've been ups or downs; I know to this point in my life that I have truly enjoyed the adventure that is my life...
Its not always easy and I know its certainly not always sane, however I know its been a great ride...
I dont' know who said but its certainly something I hold true to my heart...
That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger...
When I'm older I hope that I will have ability to look a back and think about the adventures that I have had...whether they've been ups or downs; I know to this point in my life that I have truly enjoyed the adventure that is my life...
Its not always easy and I know its certainly not always sane, however I know its been a great ride...
I dont' know who said but its certainly something I hold true to my heart...
That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger...
Monday, May 16, 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Back and in gear...
Its been a interesting weekend...
Had a great drive to Flagstaff on Friday...
On the way I stopped and played golf with my brother at Verde Sante Fe and for the first 9 holes I played the worst golf of my life....By third hole I stopped counting and switch to the only club I could hit straight...The Pitching Wedge...That's right the pitching wedge... Granite...I was hitting the pitching wedge exceptional well...Straight down the middle and about 150 yards...Its truly insane...On the other hand the guy I was playing with looked like my brother, he acted like my brother, but he certainly didn't hit the golf clubs like my brother... By the back 9 things were going well...I was playing almost par golf and my brother had returned to his old form...
Now to Flagstaff...
I pretty much let it all go once I got there...I remember most of the night...I do remember making El Jeffe pay the bar tab...
I remember the walk home...I remember praying to the porcelian god...
Overall it was a great night and a well earned break...
Saturday morning...
We jump in the truck and head to the starting point for the ride...
I'm still sicker than a dog and have no business being on bike...But hell I need this ride more than anything in the world...Not so much for the physical exercise, but more for the mental aspect of the ride...Whenever I've had troubles in my life and I needed to work through them I have always been able to jump on the bike and go for a ride and everything just seems to fall into place...
I haven't been able to ride since she's left...
I don't know why, but for the first time in my life I couldn't ride...I didn't understand; I just felt complete uncomfortable and uneasy on the bike...
So this trip was about one thing and only one thing....Forcing myself to get back on that bike and ride...It didn't matter that I was sicker than a dog and I couldn't eat anything...
So we jump on a trail and started riding...Up some good sizes hills ( have I mentioned how much I hate riding up hills) and then the fun begins....10 miles of some of the best down hill in Arizona...It was a hard ride for lots of various reasons...but in the end I found what I was searching for....
My love of riding...I was finally comfortable on the bike again....
So the weekend has been a success....
Had a great drive to Flagstaff on Friday...
On the way I stopped and played golf with my brother at Verde Sante Fe and for the first 9 holes I played the worst golf of my life....By third hole I stopped counting and switch to the only club I could hit straight...The Pitching Wedge...That's right the pitching wedge... Granite...I was hitting the pitching wedge exceptional well...Straight down the middle and about 150 yards...Its truly insane...On the other hand the guy I was playing with looked like my brother, he acted like my brother, but he certainly didn't hit the golf clubs like my brother... By the back 9 things were going well...I was playing almost par golf and my brother had returned to his old form...
Now to Flagstaff...
I pretty much let it all go once I got there...I remember most of the night...I do remember making El Jeffe pay the bar tab...
I remember the walk home...I remember praying to the porcelian god...
Overall it was a great night and a well earned break...
Saturday morning...
We jump in the truck and head to the starting point for the ride...
I'm still sicker than a dog and have no business being on bike...But hell I need this ride more than anything in the world...Not so much for the physical exercise, but more for the mental aspect of the ride...Whenever I've had troubles in my life and I needed to work through them I have always been able to jump on the bike and go for a ride and everything just seems to fall into place...
I haven't been able to ride since she's left...
I don't know why, but for the first time in my life I couldn't ride...I didn't understand; I just felt complete uncomfortable and uneasy on the bike...
So this trip was about one thing and only one thing....Forcing myself to get back on that bike and ride...It didn't matter that I was sicker than a dog and I couldn't eat anything...
So we jump on a trail and started riding...Up some good sizes hills ( have I mentioned how much I hate riding up hills) and then the fun begins....10 miles of some of the best down hill in Arizona...It was a hard ride for lots of various reasons...but in the end I found what I was searching for....
My love of riding...I was finally comfortable on the bike again....
So the weekend has been a success....
Friday, May 13, 2005
Great Site...
This simply has to be one of the funniest sites I've seen in a while...
Give it a chance...
I'll be you'll find something to laugh about...
http://www.gapingvoid.com/
Give it a chance...
I'll be you'll find something to laugh about...
http://www.gapingvoid.com/
VH1 Mega Hits..
Anyone every listen to VH1 Mega Hits and think...
"I don't remember any of these fucking songs....How the hell was that a hit?"
Just wondering? I just never seem to find a song playing on that station that I remember being a hit...At least not a hit song in the United States...
"I don't remember any of these fucking songs....How the hell was that a hit?"
Just wondering? I just never seem to find a song playing on that station that I remember being a hit...At least not a hit song in the United States...
Don't forget to look for the update at....
I forgot something...
Don't forget to look for the update on how golf went at suckatgolf.com
Granite I'm not a contributor...however my brother is and we'll be trying to hit some houses on Friday while we're at the golf course...
And don't forget....Tom and I are still the winners of the Don't Quit Your Day Job Trophy from the last golf tournament we entered....
Don't forget to look for the update on how golf went at suckatgolf.com
Granite I'm not a contributor...however my brother is and we'll be trying to hit some houses on Friday while we're at the golf course...
And don't forget....Tom and I are still the winners of the Don't Quit Your Day Job Trophy from the last golf tournament we entered....
Another bout with insomnia...
If you couldn't already tell....
I'm having another bout of insomnia...
Funny thing...this time its not caused by my mind racing at 150mph...
Its simply the ability to lack falling asleep...
What is body trying to tell me....
Its funny the things you do when you can't sleep...I've caught up on all my laundry...I've emailed some old friends...I even went over the weblogs...I even found myself watching the old music videos from the 80's and 90's on VH1 Classics...I must be really desperate....
(on a side note...Wanted to say hello to all of you who have stopped by from across the pond and abroad...not quite sure how you found the site, but then again the internet is a wonderful thing...)
Its almost 2:15am and I have to be up in less than 4 hours...lets see if I can get some sleep...
Hopefully Goodnight...
I'm having another bout of insomnia...
Funny thing...this time its not caused by my mind racing at 150mph...
Its simply the ability to lack falling asleep...
What is body trying to tell me....
Its funny the things you do when you can't sleep...I've caught up on all my laundry...I've emailed some old friends...I even went over the weblogs...I even found myself watching the old music videos from the 80's and 90's on VH1 Classics...I must be really desperate....
(on a side note...Wanted to say hello to all of you who have stopped by from across the pond and abroad...not quite sure how you found the site, but then again the internet is a wonderful thing...)
Its almost 2:15am and I have to be up in less than 4 hours...lets see if I can get some sleep...
Hopefully Goodnight...
Its the little things that count...
I had the pleasure of going to my daughter's spring concert on Thursday evening...
Its always interesting watching a group of kids singing...
I would probably best break down into 3 groups...
The lookers...The followers...and The outspoken one....
The lookers spend most of the time looking around the room and looking at each other and singing about every 3rd word.
The followers are watching the teacher and always seem to be about 2 steps behind.
The outspoken one...There's always one in the group, you know the one...The one that sings louder than everyone else...The one that wants to grab the microphone and sing...The one that is generally pandering for the crowds attention.
Now the kids are always fun to watch but some times the parents are even funnier....
Its always interesting watching a group of kids singing...
I would probably best break down into 3 groups...
The lookers...The followers...and The outspoken one....
The lookers spend most of the time looking around the room and looking at each other and singing about every 3rd word.
The followers are watching the teacher and always seem to be about 2 steps behind.
The outspoken one...There's always one in the group, you know the one...The one that sings louder than everyone else...The one that wants to grab the microphone and sing...The one that is generally pandering for the crowds attention.
Now the kids are always fun to watch but some times the parents are even funnier....
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Time for a break..
So its time for me to take a much needed break...
Last time I went up north I came home to a empty house...that was almost thirty days ago...
So I'm hoping I have a little better luck this time....
Hopefully the house will still at least be there this time when I get home...
So what's on tap for the trip....
A little golfing...A lot of mountain bike riding...and a lot of alcohol...
Not all in that order....
So if I get a chance I'll up date the site over the weekend...
Otherwise it will be sometime on Sunday...
Last time I went up north I came home to a empty house...that was almost thirty days ago...
So I'm hoping I have a little better luck this time....
Hopefully the house will still at least be there this time when I get home...
So what's on tap for the trip....
A little golfing...A lot of mountain bike riding...and a lot of alcohol...
Not all in that order....
So if I get a chance I'll up date the site over the weekend...
Otherwise it will be sometime on Sunday...
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Breaks my heart...
With as strong as I have had to be....I lost it today..
My daugther has done very well with all the recent changes...
She loves D as her own mother and she completely lost it today...
I simply couldn't hold it together anymore and lost it...For well over an hour I simply sat there and held my daughter as she cried and we talked about D...
My daughter talks everyday about her...she misses her...she knows that D has run away and wants to know when she's coming back...
Today she realized, she's not coming back...
My daugther has done very well with all the recent changes...
She loves D as her own mother and she completely lost it today...
I simply couldn't hold it together anymore and lost it...For well over an hour I simply sat there and held my daughter as she cried and we talked about D...
My daughter talks everyday about her...she misses her...she knows that D has run away and wants to know when she's coming back...
Today she realized, she's not coming back...
Weight off my shoulders...
Its been a long long time since I haven't had some type of weight on my shoulders...
From the divorce to the selling of my house....
Its been a long couple of years with a lot of stress involved...
Although my heart has been broken and I'm still dealing with this issue, I can truly say I'm finally starting to relax...
I wish with all my heart that I haven't lost the person that I have...
I can only go foward and try to move on and not live in the past...
With all my feelings and emotions that I have still pent up inside of my I'm finally starting to relax...
Is this a good thing or a bad thing...
Only time will tell...
From the divorce to the selling of my house....
Its been a long couple of years with a lot of stress involved...
Although my heart has been broken and I'm still dealing with this issue, I can truly say I'm finally starting to relax...
I wish with all my heart that I haven't lost the person that I have...
I can only go foward and try to move on and not live in the past...
With all my feelings and emotions that I have still pent up inside of my I'm finally starting to relax...
Is this a good thing or a bad thing...
Only time will tell...
I can't wait...
May 19, 2005
Dear Employer,
Please excuse Sean Vincent from work on Thursday, May 19. He is not feeling well. Sean is at home in bed for the entire day, nursing what appears to be a serious dismemberment. Sean's illness is in no way, shape or form related to the premiere of the final installment of the greatest story ever, which, coincidentally, premieres on the same date.
While I cannot confirm nor deny that Sean has called my company, Geek Squad, asking to be set up with wireless access "in case of a day spent watching the final prequel over and over" know that if you do receive an e-mail from your prized employee today, it is most likely because He was wise enough to plan ahead in the event of illness.
But as I mentioned before, Sean is at home, safely in bed, but reachable (in dire emergencies) by e-mail or cell.
One more thing. Beginning at 8am, Sean Vincent will be unreachable for about two hours, thirteen minutes and eleven seconds. He will be feeling really bad at this time.
Move along,
Robert Stephens
Geek Squad - Chief Inspector
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Travel...
It is one of my favorite things in the world to do...
At a drop of a hat...I would just go...
So why am I having such an issue going this time...
Why is it so hard to get back on this bicycle...
Why is it so hard to start these trips again...
At a drop of a hat...I would just go...
So why am I having such an issue going this time...
Why is it so hard to get back on this bicycle...
Why is it so hard to start these trips again...
Insomnia...
We all seem to get it at some point in our lives...
I guess this is my time....
I'm tired....My mind has been racing all day....
My thoughts vary a wide spectrum....but always fall back to her...
For the most part I do pretty good...Moving on....Going forward...
But there are times....times like these...My mind begins to wonder...
Searching for that missing heart beat...that missing smile...
To think was it all a lie?
I guess this is my time....
I'm tired....My mind has been racing all day....
My thoughts vary a wide spectrum....but always fall back to her...
For the most part I do pretty good...Moving on....Going forward...
But there are times....times like these...My mind begins to wonder...
Searching for that missing heart beat...that missing smile...
To think was it all a lie?
Monday, May 09, 2005
Technology...
Some days you hate it...Some days you love it....
Today is one of the days I love it...
:-)
Sunday, May 08, 2005
A comfortable place....
Its official...I have finally gotten the down stairs area straightened up and feeling comfortable...
I love the way it flows and they way it feels...
Now if I can only get me head on straight....
I love the way it flows and they way it feels...
Now if I can only get me head on straight....
Religion...
Why is it that some of the most religious people in the world are some of worst...
They say they follow the good book, but it more like a guide, instead of a law...
I'll never understand it....
They say they follow the good book, but it more like a guide, instead of a law...
I'll never understand it....
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Support...
Its a wonderful thing...
All the family and friends that have supported me...
But in the end...
This is a journey I must walk alone...
Slowly I walk...Slowly I find my way...
There's been twists and turns...ups and downs...
I'll will make through this journey....
But more the question at hand...
Is what will I do when she turns up in the future...
All the family and friends that have supported me...
But in the end...
This is a journey I must walk alone...
Slowly I walk...Slowly I find my way...
There's been twists and turns...ups and downs...
I'll will make through this journey....
But more the question at hand...
Is what will I do when she turns up in the future...
Long Drive Home...
Its funny...
I feel like I doing fine and things are moving on....
Then I have long drive home...You would think it would be a long drive to work but not really. I've been doing what I do for a long time and I have a pretty set routine on my may to work to make sure I'm ready once I'm there. My job requires a lot of focus...If I can't focus I don't make any money...Its hard to explain unless you have done what I do...That being said my rides to work are generally pretty easy do to my set routine....
Driving home is another story...
Its probably the hardest part of the day...I find constant reminders from songs on the radio, to the lack of stops on the way home. I miss my conversation with her, I miss my arguements with her, I miss stopping to pick up something she needs on my way home, and most of all I miss walking into the house and see that smiling face...
I once learned long ago a saying I hold true in my heart...
If you truely love someone set them free...If it was meant to be they'll come back...If not you have simply proven you really truelly love them...
So here I am proving my love....
I feel like I doing fine and things are moving on....
Then I have long drive home...You would think it would be a long drive to work but not really. I've been doing what I do for a long time and I have a pretty set routine on my may to work to make sure I'm ready once I'm there. My job requires a lot of focus...If I can't focus I don't make any money...Its hard to explain unless you have done what I do...That being said my rides to work are generally pretty easy do to my set routine....
Driving home is another story...
Its probably the hardest part of the day...I find constant reminders from songs on the radio, to the lack of stops on the way home. I miss my conversation with her, I miss my arguements with her, I miss stopping to pick up something she needs on my way home, and most of all I miss walking into the house and see that smiling face...
I once learned long ago a saying I hold true in my heart...
If you truely love someone set them free...If it was meant to be they'll come back...If not you have simply proven you really truelly love them...
So here I am proving my love....
Congratulations are in Order..
Budder...
I'm proud that you continue to work hard and it finally seems that hard work is starting to pay off. Keep up the good work!
Honesty
Such a simple concept....So why is it so hard to follow through...
I once made a promise to someone to always tell the truth. It was the best thing in the world...On so many levels it opens you up to show who you really are....
I guess that's why so many people find it hard to do....People aren't comfortable with who they are, so they can't just be honest with themselves and if they can't be honest with themselves; how can they be honest with anyone else....
Friday, May 06, 2005
Rolling...
Its been an interesting few days...seems like I'm starting to pick up speed...
Finally feels like I have some closure in some areas of my life and like I'm starting to move on...
But I still feel that void...The missing love...
Finally feels like I have some closure in some areas of my life and like I'm starting to move on...
But I still feel that void...The missing love...
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Good over Evil
Well end of the 3 game series and the Diamondbacks beat the Giants 2 out of 3 times...
I'll take that anyday of the week...
So I guess this time around...it was Good over Evil....
I'll take that anyday of the week...
So I guess this time around...it was Good over Evil....
On a lighter note...
Diamondbacks over the Giants last night, it was a great game.
Good luck to my brother today....
Good luck to my brother today....
Funny Thing....
I was doing some thinking...( I know dangerous subject for me...)
It seems that people who choose to move on at a drop of a hat never really just disappear...There's always something that makes them keep an eye on there old life from outside world...
I don't know why I believe this, I just do...
I think the brain just won't drop it, I think somewhere in the back of the head, there's always that thought, that concern about what's going on in my old world...
It seems that people who choose to move on at a drop of a hat never really just disappear...There's always something that makes them keep an eye on there old life from outside world...
I don't know why I believe this, I just do...
I think the brain just won't drop it, I think somewhere in the back of the head, there's always that thought, that concern about what's going on in my old world...
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Lost in the dark...
Its dark....Still wondering lost in the dark...
I'm trying to move forward but still lost in the dark...
Trying to find my way, but feel like I'm about to walk off the cliff...
So I concentrate on what matters in my life, what's most important in my life...
And pray I find my way...
I'm trying to move forward but still lost in the dark...
Trying to find my way, but feel like I'm about to walk off the cliff...
So I concentrate on what matters in my life, what's most important in my life...
And pray I find my way...
Songs...
Music....
Its an amazing thing...reminds of where you are, where you've been, and sometimes where you're going...
The hard part...Music that makes you remember people, places, and things....
Its an amazing thing...reminds of where you are, where you've been, and sometimes where you're going...
The hard part...Music that makes you remember people, places, and things....
Monday, May 02, 2005
A fork in the road...
So a friend needs some help...
So of course I'm willing to do anything to help out a friend...
However doing so, requires me to close a door to my past and forces me to move on...
I know its the right thing to do....
So why is it so hard to close that door...
So of course I'm willing to do anything to help out a friend...
However doing so, requires me to close a door to my past and forces me to move on...
I know its the right thing to do....
So why is it so hard to close that door...
Yankees
You have to love that we are more than a month into the baseball season and the Yankees are 8 games back....
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/standings?type=reg&br=5&year=2005&column=gamesBehind&order=false&st=2
And lets see if Good can conquer Evil this week...
Diamondbacks vs Giants in San Fran for a 3 games series...
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/standings?type=reg&br=5&year=2005&column=gamesBehind&order=false&st=2
And lets see if Good can conquer Evil this week...
Diamondbacks vs Giants in San Fran for a 3 games series...
Since you've been gone....
So its been two weeks since you've left....Have you found what your looking for...Have you found yourself...Is it everything you've been wanting...No responsibilty...No hard decision...No work...
Has the cost you'd paid been too high...
Only time will tell....
Sunday, May 01, 2005
My schedule...
I've found a cool new company making a great calendar system...
http://www.trumba.com
If you need to find me you can always look up my schedule...
http://www.trumba.com/calendars/vincentzoo
http://www.trumba.com
If you need to find me you can always look up my schedule...
http://www.trumba.com/calendars/vincentzoo
So what is the next step...
Its funny...I read the post and was thinking...I am ready for the next step...
So what the hell is the next step?
So what the hell is the next step?
Ready for the next step...
Spent some time talking with a friend tonight....Rather interesting hearing the same perspective on parenting and the fact as a parent you have to choose the better good for your children over your selfish personal interests....
Just helps reinforce the basics...
Just helps reinforce the basics...
Weekend..
This weekend has certainly not been boring...
I spent Friday night drinking...I spent 4 hours of Saturday morning with my daughter at the Doctor's office...Had a great time hanging out with my Brother and friends Saturday afternoon...
And then my work week started today at 8am....but hey the new work schedule starts next week. Thats something to look forward to....
I spent Friday night drinking...I spent 4 hours of Saturday morning with my daughter at the Doctor's office...Had a great time hanging out with my Brother and friends Saturday afternoon...
And then my work week started today at 8am....but hey the new work schedule starts next week. Thats something to look forward to....
Run Away...
We've all had thoughts at one time or another about just dropping everything in our lives and starting a new...
Just recreating ourselves and not having anything to do with anyone or anything from that point in our lives...
But I can't even believe how someone can just walk away....
Being a parent is an inherient responsibilty to no matter what your feeling are....Taking the higher ground and always looking back to say is this whats best for the kids? Then deal with the opinions and emotions you feel. Its not easy....So much of my life I've wanted to do other things, but have do something else because is was the right thing for my children...
I just don't understand how someone can get and walk out that door and turn their backs on the kids....
Just recreating ourselves and not having anything to do with anyone or anything from that point in our lives...
But I can't even believe how someone can just walk away....
Being a parent is an inherient responsibilty to no matter what your feeling are....Taking the higher ground and always looking back to say is this whats best for the kids? Then deal with the opinions and emotions you feel. Its not easy....So much of my life I've wanted to do other things, but have do something else because is was the right thing for my children...
I just don't understand how someone can get and walk out that door and turn their backs on the kids....
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Where's the light...
Saw some flashes of light this weekend.....Its still hard....Trying to deal with these emotions...these betrail that I feel...Whether its right or wrong...
Its what I feel...
Still walking through the darkness, but starting to see some light....
Its what I feel...
Still walking through the darkness, but starting to see some light....
And the weekend begins....
I did something I haven't done in a long time last night....Those who know me know I don't drink a lot and on occasion I will have a lot....Well last night seem to be the perfect occasion... I had survived a long week at work and few tough weeks in my life...Things had gotten to a point where I could drink without the anger or the depression that I feel.
So a couple of friends came over....Order pizza....Watch my teams on TV and We started drinking....
At last count I think we ended working our way into the acohol reserves at the house....
What a great way to start a weekend.....
So a couple of friends came over....Order pizza....Watch my teams on TV and We started drinking....
At last count I think we ended working our way into the acohol reserves at the house....
What a great way to start a weekend.....
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Still haven't found what I'm looking for...
So what do I do with this pit in my stomach....The pain in my heart....As the days go on I try to stay busy and stay focus on trying to get things done.
Take care of kids. -Check
Work - Check
Sell House - Check
Move foward and don't linger in the past - ( In progress)
As I self title this in progress and must confess....I really don't feel like I'm in progress....I feel as if I'm still at that point on April 19. I know time has moved on...but I'm having a hard time doing so....
So how do I move on....
I just continue to try to take it a day at time and take one step at a time....
I can't tell you that I'm walking the right path....I can't even tell you I'm not about to walk off a cliff.....
I just continue on this path until I see the light...
Take care of kids. -Check
Work - Check
Sell House - Check
Move foward and don't linger in the past - ( In progress)
As I self title this in progress and must confess....I really don't feel like I'm in progress....I feel as if I'm still at that point on April 19. I know time has moved on...but I'm having a hard time doing so....
So how do I move on....
I just continue to try to take it a day at time and take one step at a time....
I can't tell you that I'm walking the right path....I can't even tell you I'm not about to walk off a cliff.....
I just continue on this path until I see the light...
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Moving On....
Over the past week I've been worried to death, angry as hell, dazed and confused, and simply dumfounded. So the question really is...
How do I move on when I feel like there still another shoe waiting to drop....
My friends think I'm wrong....they don't see how anything else can happen, but my gut tells me something else is there...
And everytime in my life I haven't trusted my gut, somethings happened....
So this is where I'm at, trying to move forward yet still feel like I'm stuck in this moment....
Waiting....Waiting for the other shoe to drop...
How do I move on when I feel like there still another shoe waiting to drop....
My friends think I'm wrong....they don't see how anything else can happen, but my gut tells me something else is there...
And everytime in my life I haven't trusted my gut, somethings happened....
So this is where I'm at, trying to move forward yet still feel like I'm stuck in this moment....
Waiting....Waiting for the other shoe to drop...
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Back to Normal?
Things are back to normal.....sort of
I get up in the morning, take care of the kids and go to work... After work I pick the kids and continue our normal night routine...homework, supper, bathtime, and bedtime....
But things aren't back to normal....
This emptiness is there....the doubt is there.....The darkness is there....
So how is this back to normal?
I get up in the morning, take care of the kids and go to work... After work I pick the kids and continue our normal night routine...homework, supper, bathtime, and bedtime....
But things aren't back to normal....
This emptiness is there....the doubt is there.....The darkness is there....
So how is this back to normal?
Monday, April 25, 2005
Just another Maniac Monday!
"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. You can't get there by bus, only by hard work and risk and by not quite knowing what you're doing."
Alan Alda (1936- )
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Friends...
You gotta have friends....
From the email's, to the calls, and the visits....
Its been a rough week...but throught it all....
They've been there...
From the email's, to the calls, and the visits....
Its been a rough week...but throught it all....
They've been there...
Since I'm talking Baseball...
You have to just love that George spent $200 million dollars on the Yankees this year and there only 8-11 and currently last place in their division.
I simply love watching the Yankees lose. It doesn't really matter how much money George spends. I just couldn't resist. This was supposed to be the Dream Team of baseball, and to this point in the season, there's simply another team with a losing record! (with a $200 million dollar payroll)
Maybe there's a god after all!
I simply love watching the Yankees lose. It doesn't really matter how much money George spends. I just couldn't resist. This was supposed to be the Dream Team of baseball, and to this point in the season, there's simply another team with a losing record! (with a $200 million dollar payroll)
Maybe there's a god after all!
Barry Bonds
Isn't it amazing how a guy getting his knee drained causes such a media stir....Can't they just let the old man retire in peace! Just kinding...I hope the press hounds him for next 5 years. For all that is amazing about Barry, what an ass. From a pure baseball prospect, what an amazing player, but from the constant and never ending media stories about and how he acts toward anyone other than his inner circle. I hope the press continues to make it a rocky road for him....
Some Good News...
On a little lighter note...I received some good news in the mail. Who would think? The postal service bringing good news!!!! Instead of the normal junk mail and bills, I got a pleasant surprise in the mail and now I finally think my house will close on time...
Tough Weekend...
Its been a very interesting weekend...
Spent most of the weekend cleaning and sorting through things at the house. It was pretty intense.....The flood of emtions and memories... At so many levels it so hard to deal with...At another level I'm trying to let go and just take it one day at a time. One minute I'm up and one minute I'm down. It seems the busier I stay the better I am.
Spent most of the weekend cleaning and sorting through things at the house. It was pretty intense.....The flood of emtions and memories... At so many levels it so hard to deal with...At another level I'm trying to let go and just take it one day at a time. One minute I'm up and one minute I'm down. It seems the busier I stay the better I am.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Another Day Another Dollar....
Time to work....
Call volume has been real strange that last few weeks. One minute your slammed with 20 holding and the next you've got 30 available... Its a roller coaster....
Call volume has been real strange that last few weeks. One minute your slammed with 20 holding and the next you've got 30 available... Its a roller coaster....
Dazed and Confused...
In my life I've always know what to do....How to move on....How to heal...
So why is it I have no clue...I'm just so lost....
Everywhere I go, I see something, something that reminds me of her... That perfect smile, that little smile that just melts your heart, the stupid Giants....
You have to risk to love, but I never knew the gamble was so high if you lost....
So why is it I have no clue...I'm just so lost....
Everywhere I go, I see something, something that reminds me of her... That perfect smile, that little smile that just melts your heart, the stupid Giants....
You have to risk to love, but I never knew the gamble was so high if you lost....
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Another Day...
Void....what do I do with this void in my life? This feeling in my pit of the stomach. I've been going over things in my head and I can't figure it out...So where do I go? What do I do?
Its time to start another day....Am I ready?
Its time to start another day....Am I ready?
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Take Three...
So after finally getting the love of my life and phone and from the previous email. She's gone....
Just like that....
Its been a heart wreching 3 days. I've slept a total of 6 hours and I wonder were do I start again? The other kids father and I have sat down and talked and will keep some open lines of communications. He understands that I have love for his kids as if they were my own and I will be able to continue to see them.
But its not that simple....on the cold black and white background of typing is just seems to come out. My hope for this blog is simply to vent and try to go forward. At this way I don't know which way is up, down, left, or right. I'm going to do the only thing I can do...Pick a direction and start walking the road of life...
Its very hard, I've lost the love of my life and she's taken something from me that I don't know if I will ever get back. She's taken my heart and soul...I've lost complete faith and was blind sided. The worst part is everytime I try to go with the flow and try to pick up the pieces try to move on.....I can't. I love her to much, her beings fills my heart a moment doesn't go by that I can't think of her. She is such a positive influence in my life and she's gone. I don't have any bad memories with her....Everytime I think of her it just makes me smile.
So here it is Take Three, Act1 - and it begins....
Just like that....
Its been a heart wreching 3 days. I've slept a total of 6 hours and I wonder were do I start again? The other kids father and I have sat down and talked and will keep some open lines of communications. He understands that I have love for his kids as if they were my own and I will be able to continue to see them.
But its not that simple....on the cold black and white background of typing is just seems to come out. My hope for this blog is simply to vent and try to go forward. At this way I don't know which way is up, down, left, or right. I'm going to do the only thing I can do...Pick a direction and start walking the road of life...
Its very hard, I've lost the love of my life and she's taken something from me that I don't know if I will ever get back. She's taken my heart and soul...I've lost complete faith and was blind sided. The worst part is everytime I try to go with the flow and try to pick up the pieces try to move on.....I can't. I love her to much, her beings fills my heart a moment doesn't go by that I can't think of her. She is such a positive influence in my life and she's gone. I don't have any bad memories with her....Everytime I think of her it just makes me smile.
So here it is Take Three, Act1 - and it begins....
Where do I go from here....
May 18, 2003- I just get back from Chicago on a world wind tour with my father and brother and all the pieces of the puzzle have fallen in place. At this point in my life I've been married 5 years and have been feeling the my life slip away every moment. What do you do when you realize that you have married the wrong person? It has taken me 3 years to get to this point and finally realize that it not good for my daugther or myself to live like this. So the planning begins and I now I have to figure out how to leave a marriage with mentally ill wife and a wonderful daughter.
July 16, 2003- The bomb goes off and I begin my new life. I have my daughter and I have my full support of my family. At this point in time as most of you know, you tend to find who your true friends are. I new this divorce would be ugly and that things what happen. I called all the friends I could to warn them and let them know what was about to happen. This was a life altering experience and one that didn't not come to in a blink of eye, but one of long internal struggle to try to balance the good my child vs my feelings. In the end I decided that although the process may be difficult my child would be better along and maybe somehow I can be than man I have to be.
With lots of support and lots of time I 've made it through...In my new chapter in life, I self titled it B2B or Back to Basics....All of my life I have always worked hard, but always wanted the best and didn't want to settle for less. I was extravegant, I was arragant at times, and above all else I cared more for personal belongings and having possesions than what my financial health looked liked.
I had started a new life, left with just my daugther and the clothes on my back. I was convince that this time around, this second chance to do things right that I would try my best to always make the best decision for my daughters health and my fincial stability.
August 2003-
I've started dating this wonderful woman who is simply amazing, she's successful and has 4 kids...I know what you mean 4 kids!!!! But she trully is a amazing person. Over the past 20 months we've grown together. She's helped through some tough times and we've had amazing times. I had fallen in love. She asked about marriage and I said I needed some time to work through some hurdles. I've never told her no, but said give me some time to work on my past issues. I told her I love more than any woman I have ever loved and I can see spending the rest of my life with you. We had common goals, we had the same retirement plans. It was like a match made in heaven. I can't believe how lucky I was to find such an amazing woman. Of course with any relationship we hit some speed bumps.
April 2005-
To this point everything is going great, we are making plans for the future, we are buying a huge house to live in. I was finally comfortable and feeling completly safe. I say that now, but that typically when dramatic changes happen and your right they did. My girlfriend says hey Ive got to go to this wedding out of town for wanna of my old friends, do you mind if I go. I said sure I don't mind. We book at ticket for her and then I get some wierd bells and whistles going off in my head over the next couple of days. I asked her to send the flight itenery so say okay, but it never comes. She unusually grochy and iritable. I know she's under a lot stress, because we had some major issues come up with her 18 year old son. So Friday morning comes and she's getting ready to leave for the flight she tells me when to pick her up at the airport on Sunday at such and such a time and her's her flight number. I ask her to call me when she gets there to make sure she's safe and she throws a big fit and in the end she says ok. ( Yes the bells were going off, but under the curent stress load she said she need a couple of days to relax and get away. ) Perfectly understandable right? So Sunday I get to airport and wait and wait and wait. About 15 minutes after the plane lands I get a text message that simply says, I don't know when I'm coming back, I'll make arrangements for the kids.
And boom! Just like that a A-bomb has just been let off in the middle of the family. Now the last few days have been a blur and been difficult to understand...No one knows where she is and she's not contacting anyone, Is this by choice, Is she being forced, is she safe? I start to look for answers and I find plenty, bits and pieces of information...till it all adds up to this...
This came to me 20 hours ago and yet another roller coaster for life begins...
From:Akasha G
To: vincentzoo
Apr 19 (20 hours ago)
I'm not coming back. You need to leave me alone and take a minute to figureout that obviously I was extremely unhappy and mentally a wreck! I did notabandon anyone. The dad can do THE JOB for once in my life. Welcome to myworld, now maybe someone will appreciate what I really did. I did try tomake arrangements for Jenna, I'm sorry if no one got my text messages. Youcan think whatever you want, it's time for me to freakin do what is best forme for once in my entire life. Clever one you are to log me.....I had thathappen to me once before, funny how people repeat patterns of picking thesame type of person they were with before. Everyone will adjust in thehousehold. You don't have to worry about anyone ever again but Parker andAudrey. I don't have to be anyone's babysitter. I am so sick and tired ofdoing and doing and doing. Just take my shit and throw it away, let theother dad handle everything else. I'm not going to contact you again,changing phone number, moving from where I am now. I will contact Greg next. I can not be everything to everyone anymore. All I want is to be leftthe fuck alone. This is not abandonment, it's finding me.
July 16, 2003- The bomb goes off and I begin my new life. I have my daughter and I have my full support of my family. At this point in time as most of you know, you tend to find who your true friends are. I new this divorce would be ugly and that things what happen. I called all the friends I could to warn them and let them know what was about to happen. This was a life altering experience and one that didn't not come to in a blink of eye, but one of long internal struggle to try to balance the good my child vs my feelings. In the end I decided that although the process may be difficult my child would be better along and maybe somehow I can be than man I have to be.
With lots of support and lots of time I 've made it through...In my new chapter in life, I self titled it B2B or Back to Basics....All of my life I have always worked hard, but always wanted the best and didn't want to settle for less. I was extravegant, I was arragant at times, and above all else I cared more for personal belongings and having possesions than what my financial health looked liked.
I had started a new life, left with just my daugther and the clothes on my back. I was convince that this time around, this second chance to do things right that I would try my best to always make the best decision for my daughters health and my fincial stability.
August 2003-
I've started dating this wonderful woman who is simply amazing, she's successful and has 4 kids...I know what you mean 4 kids!!!! But she trully is a amazing person. Over the past 20 months we've grown together. She's helped through some tough times and we've had amazing times. I had fallen in love. She asked about marriage and I said I needed some time to work through some hurdles. I've never told her no, but said give me some time to work on my past issues. I told her I love more than any woman I have ever loved and I can see spending the rest of my life with you. We had common goals, we had the same retirement plans. It was like a match made in heaven. I can't believe how lucky I was to find such an amazing woman. Of course with any relationship we hit some speed bumps.
April 2005-
To this point everything is going great, we are making plans for the future, we are buying a huge house to live in. I was finally comfortable and feeling completly safe. I say that now, but that typically when dramatic changes happen and your right they did. My girlfriend says hey Ive got to go to this wedding out of town for wanna of my old friends, do you mind if I go. I said sure I don't mind. We book at ticket for her and then I get some wierd bells and whistles going off in my head over the next couple of days. I asked her to send the flight itenery so say okay, but it never comes. She unusually grochy and iritable. I know she's under a lot stress, because we had some major issues come up with her 18 year old son. So Friday morning comes and she's getting ready to leave for the flight she tells me when to pick her up at the airport on Sunday at such and such a time and her's her flight number. I ask her to call me when she gets there to make sure she's safe and she throws a big fit and in the end she says ok. ( Yes the bells were going off, but under the curent stress load she said she need a couple of days to relax and get away. ) Perfectly understandable right? So Sunday I get to airport and wait and wait and wait. About 15 minutes after the plane lands I get a text message that simply says, I don't know when I'm coming back, I'll make arrangements for the kids.
And boom! Just like that a A-bomb has just been let off in the middle of the family. Now the last few days have been a blur and been difficult to understand...No one knows where she is and she's not contacting anyone, Is this by choice, Is she being forced, is she safe? I start to look for answers and I find plenty, bits and pieces of information...till it all adds up to this...
This came to me 20 hours ago and yet another roller coaster for life begins...
From:Akasha G
To: vincentzoo
Apr 19 (20 hours ago)
I'm not coming back. You need to leave me alone and take a minute to figureout that obviously I was extremely unhappy and mentally a wreck! I did notabandon anyone. The dad can do THE JOB for once in my life. Welcome to myworld, now maybe someone will appreciate what I really did. I did try tomake arrangements for Jenna, I'm sorry if no one got my text messages. Youcan think whatever you want, it's time for me to freakin do what is best forme for once in my entire life. Clever one you are to log me.....I had thathappen to me once before, funny how people repeat patterns of picking thesame type of person they were with before. Everyone will adjust in thehousehold. You don't have to worry about anyone ever again but Parker andAudrey. I don't have to be anyone's babysitter. I am so sick and tired ofdoing and doing and doing. Just take my shit and throw it away, let theother dad handle everything else. I'm not going to contact you again,changing phone number, moving from where I am now. I will contact Greg next. I can not be everything to everyone anymore. All I want is to be leftthe fuck alone. This is not abandonment, it's finding me.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
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